Cricket Returns.

So a new season begins; hopes, fears, a sense of excitement and that feeling of wonder one gets thinking of how on earth one's box has managed to increase in size over the winter.

Youlgreave were the our hosts for the first game of the season. Most of the players in our side were called Sam, and a worrying proportion were under 30. Many of them seemed to be dentists - which should at least ensures a supply of painkillers for later in the season.

In the dressing room it was as if the winter had never happened; there was the usual discussions on who was cleverer, Jimmy Greaves or Dennis Wise; anarcho-syndicalism was given a once over, and Dave "The Cat" Frenkel gave us an update on his ongoing "What Bat to Buy?" project....after that, it was almost a pleasure to stand around in the sun for two and a half hours.

The cricket? We were spanked. Youlgreave got 238 off 40 with their charming opener retiring after a brisk century. He was then replaced by someone with a very annoying cap. We dropped at least six catches and, according to Cat Frenkel, I missed a stumping....as you may imagine, I welcomed the Cat's view; he may wish to re-consider his comments should he decide he has an interest in this year's fielding prize. Andy Stelling took three wickets despite bowling a last over of Wagnerian stature; it was long, tedious, lacking in drama and in German.

Tediousness was to reach a new nadir during our batting; after a promising start where we kept up with the run rate, Sheet-Anchor Sayers decided that this five an over lark was injecting too much levity into the serious game of cricket.(Actually, after a few hours of the Sheet, many of his team mates watching were injecting.)With the run rate going up and up, Tideswell eventually lost sight of the target and, indeed, the will to live. Note to Trigger: Jim, please stop appealing when the ball brushes Mike's pads. It looks bad coming from the square-leg umpire.

The bells of Youlgreave church were delightful for the first few hours and there was a nice pint in the pub; sadly,and not deliberately, we managed to go to a different pub to the home side - despite their pub's sponsorship being splashed all over their kit.

Still....Stretford next week...